Retire richly. Book reviews.
Funny senior quotes.
As we age, the pace of life changes, routines evolve, and what once seemed important. Rushing to meetings or early alarms — suddenly feels downright silly. Getting old involves serious topics, some of which are addressed in our retirement finance and retirement lifestyle content. But there’s plenty of scope to appreciate funny senior quotes and the humorous side of aging.
Getting older and approaching retirement often come with their own unique blend of humor—an amusing mix of unexpected changes, quirky habits, and playful reflections on life’s later chapters.
Whether you’re embracing retirement yourself or simply enjoying a chuckle at the realities of aging, these witty quotes offer a lighthearted tribute to one of life’s biggest transitions. They remind us all that getting old doesn’t mean losing your sense of humor—in fact, it might just make it sharper.
FUNNY SENIOR QUOTES
“Retirement is when you switch bosses from the one who hired you to the one who married you.” - Unknown
“Retirement is not in my vocabulary. They aren’t going to get rid of me that way.” - Betty White
"A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job." - Ella Harris
"Well, I didn't grow up with that word 'retirement' as part of my consciousness. I didn't grow up with professionals that retired. I thought retiring was when you are tired and go to bed." - Ruby Dee
“Sooner or later I'm going to die, but I'm not going to retire.” - Margaret Mead
"I need to retire from retirement." - Sandra Day O'Connor
"We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to work—and then we retire. And what do they give us? A bloody clock!" - Dave Allen
“Time spent in laughter when one is retired is well invested.” - Unknown
"Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save." - Will Rogers
"You have to put off being young until you can retire." - Unknown
"What do you call someone who's happy on Mondays? Retired!" - Unknown
“Retirement: The pay is lousy but the hours are great.” - Unknown
"Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese." - Gene Perret
"A lot of our friends complain about their retirement. We tell 'em to get a life." - Larry Laser
"My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum security prison in Hawaii." - Julius Sharpe
BOOK REVIEWS - RETIREMENT FINANCES
FUNNY SENIOR QUOTES (MORE)
"My father calls acting a state of permanent retirement with short spurts of work." - Chris Pine
“The joy of retirement is having nothing to do and all day to do it.” - Unknown
"There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working." - Robert Half
“The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.” - Unknown
"I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day." - Gene Perret
“I’m not just retiring from the company, I’m also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron.” - Hartman Jule
"He who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement." - Unknown
“The only thing that should get retired is your old idea of retirement.” - Unknown
“I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities.” - Voltaire
“Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.” - Jonathan Clements
"Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house." - Unknown
“In your retirement years never drink coffee at lunch; it will keep you awake in the afternoon.” - Unknown
“Every morning in retirement is a personal holiday.” - Unknown
“Retirement is when having a good time is your only job.” - Unknown
"I will not retire while I've still got my legs and my make-up box." - Bette Davis
BOOK REVIEWS - RETIREMENT LIFESTYLE
FUNNY SENIOR QUOTES (MORE)
“Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.” - George Burns
"I have never liked working. To me a job is an invasion of privacy." - Danny McGoorty
“Retirement is more fun than work, and you never have to make excuses.” - Unknown
“Retirement: Time to trade the office desk for a sunny beach.” - Unknown
“I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 o’clock in the morning and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.” - Unknown
"In retirement, I look for days off from my days off." - Mason Cooley
“Some of the best memories are made in flip flops.” - Kellie Elmore
"I always likened retirement to falling off a cliff, and then you have to kind of brush yourself off. - Steve Young
“When a man retires, his wife gets twice as much husband for half as much money.” - Chi Chi Rodriguez
"Retirement: World's longest coffee break." - Unknown
“The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.” - Abe Lemons
"I find the biggest trouble with having nothing to do is you can't tell when you are done." - Unknown
"Sometimes it’s hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment." - Terri Guillemets
“Working people have a lot of bad habits, but the worst of those is work.” - Clarence Darrow
“Retirement is the world's longest coffee break.” - Unknown
“The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the work I was best suited for was retirement.” - Unknown